In the middle of January 2021 with nothing else to do, I made myself a New Years resolution. I vowed to write “once a week, or at the bare minimum, once a month”. I had a good run for three weeks in which I wrote a post roughly once a week. Then February hit, I procrastinated even more and the realisation that uni was looming sapped my willpower. So I amended my resolution to “once a fortnight” and wrote a single post in the entire month of February.
I am only sitting here writing this post because I have procrastinated most of March already (jeez, we’re already in the middle!!) and because I feel like s* for doing so. Now some may blame university and the workload for their lack of progress but I procrastinated the first week of uni when we were in Level 3 lockdown and only managed to catch up for this second week. I’m still one lecture behind in two courses.
I can’t blame writer’s block either. My mind is filled with ideas and potential outcomes for my projects; in fact some projects are “finished” in my head — I just haven’t written any of it down. This is not new. When I was younger and although the worlds I created were essentially fan-fiction, I would imagine all their events, the emotional moments and the dramatic resolutions, and when I finished imagining it all — the story was over. Very little was committed to paper (or text) if at all.
Similarly, I have a clue how the New Horizons project is going to end, I am just confused whether it should go in the direction it is heading in. The eponymous novel New Horizons which is meant to be my first novel is not even being written. I have rewritten “the first chapter” (circa 100 words) over and over again trying to figure out how to start the novel and how to “hook readers” with it.
Movies are my medium of choice. Before COVID, we would go to the cinemas and watch the movie of the week, almost every week (it was $10, okay?) — so much so that we are VIP members of Events Cinemas 😄. So whenever I come up with ideas, I always envision them as scenes. I can see the characters’ actions, their overcompensations and their hesitations. I hear the noise, the rain, the footprints. However, I have no idea how to commit any of this text, most of all the action.
The hovercar descends on the vineyard, dust in the air. Curtains peel slightly in the nearby mansion. A row of apple trees line the driveway. It lands in the yard, a fountain in the centre. But…
I haven’t been writing.
In fact, I started a new project over the holidays inspired by nostalgia (mentioned here and here)… and I haven’t even been writing for that project either! I’ve consulted friends on my ideas, an amateur expert on a topic, and my dear old friend Wikipedia, but the writing hasn’t really started.
The old and present me would be frustrated, disappointed, ashamed and disgusted with my lack of progress. I hope future me is better at this.
Anyways, as always, thanks for reading!
PS: If I get it done, the next post may be the first draft of the first story chapter for my new project. Maybe…